Day 4: On Non-Ambition
Day 4 (or weekday 4, day 6 if you count the weekend): On Non-Ambition
It seems trite to note how fast this is all changing and to think we were in school just a week ago and....
Before getting into ruminations on life under social distancing, for educators shaping communication with students, I want to link to the overall remote learning letter to our 9th graders sent out Friday. This felt super clear to me, well organized, and eminently doable for the students (I hope:). We'll see. Not sure if you can get to the embedded links in the document but if you want access to that, email me.
Onto Ambition, or lack thereof:
I realize so many, if not most, of the strategies people use to get through life and its stressors have been suddenly been taken away. Retail therapy, going to the gym, hanging out in bars, social immersion, etc. are pretty much off the table.
I guess people could try to replicate these in their own isolated kind of way and there seems no shortage of stories circulating of folks doing virtual dance parties and cocktail hours and such. Maybe you can still try to "shop til you drop" but not sure what is even out there to buy (my aunt tells me Amazon's platform doesn't tell you what isn't in stock doesn't come up when you're picking items but this only shops up, to your dismay, upon checkout). Jennifer inexplicably had her order for 24 Oxford English Picture Dictionaries (for refugee education) cancelled by Amazon either because there is a sudden hoarding of this important resource (unlikely) or they just don't have the staff to prioritize this less essential item.
So far (and I'm aware that anything I say one day I may totally feel differently about in a day or week or month from now), I am not a fan of trying to replicate "regular world" experiences in this new coronavirus world (I wonder when we'll come up with agreed upon terminology for that prior world and the current one). Like my ex-father-in-law wisely used to say about frozen yogurt, "Never order a flavor you have eaten as real ice cream." His logic, astutely enough, was that something like Mango or Persimmon Frozen Yogurt may be great, but if you order Chocolate or Health Bar Crunch, you'll compare to real ice cream and be sorely disappointed.
So for now, watching tv shows simultaneously or trying to go on group runs remotely is off the table for me.
What I think may be particularly hard for some folk, and something I think is often inherent in American culture, is to tamp down ambition and the continual pressure for self-improvement. There are a bunch of reasons this is ingrained in us, from our county's founders desire to create the proverbial city on a hill to Judeo-Christian precepts about service and creating a better world to our grading system in schools that starts with a high score of 100 and only goes down from there, meaning for almost all us, we can always do better (contrast this with video game scoring where your score only goes up and how much more rewarding this is for many kids). And maybe it is just human nature to want to be busy and to look ahead and to want more and better for our future.
But there is also a fair bit of perspective that encourages a less ambitious nature. Buddhism may offer the most commonly cited philosophy of acceptance, living in the moment, and not continually seeking more. Even in non-Buddhist countries, I've experienced the general happiness of people who have far less than most Americans. We have all heard stories of people with very little who express great satisfaction with their lives while some people in developed, wealthy societies express high levels of dissatisfaction, stress, and unhappiness (I could go look up links here about world surveys on the happiest countries but at least today, I lack the ambition to do all that work that I trust you can google as well as me:).
So yes, everything has changed and our lives are turned upside down and no one knows how to handle today, let alone what will happen tomorrow and beyond. The illusion of control we often feel as Americans is being shattered. I was fortunate to experience this years ago when we traveled around the world for a year during some of the worst of the Bush 2 presidency. As a news junkie and one time Political Science major, I used to be much more mired in the day to day news which raised my concern about how things would play out, as if my news following somehow affected the course of events. Lo and behold, in that whole year away, often with no access the news, George Bush never once seemed to need to consult with me, nor did my following or not following the news seem to change anything he did.
I think the same perspective was often true for folks in countries like Italy or Spain who felt less opportunity for social mobility so chose to live well rather than work particularly hard or for those in low income countries who try to find happiness in lives with few material possessions and don't perseverate about what they don't have or how their lives would be different if only they had more.
In the US, almost since our founding, we've had opportunities for upward mobility through the wonders of the natural resources available, the space to grow and create, and the freedoms of democracy and capitalism. And now, all of a sudden, much of this sense of opportunity is cut off. I guess you could be prepping to start a podcast or create an at-home, on-line business, or to write the great American novel, but maybe this is a good time to just slow down, accept having less to do, try to listen to your body and mind about "what do I want to do now?", and be grateful for getting through another day without feeling too bored or worried or dismayed.
So I haven't yet gotten to making some long range list of "things I can do while under social isolation." Instead, I'm trying to be pretty pleased with my short "to-do" list (admittedly this blog can take a fair bit of time), giving me some things I "need" to do each day (and trying to not get through the list so I have something for tomorrow)(and if any students are reading this and think this means you don't have to do schoolwork, I would put that on your list of the one thing you "need" to do at least on all weekdays).
But mostly I am just doing what I feel like doing at the time and sticking to what I think of the basics of my life--sleeping well, reading in bed in the morning, listening to news, cooking a lot of good, time consuming food (nursing the sourdough starter baby I had going before this drastic change, making eggplant parmesan the real breaded and fried way that takes hours of prep, etc), playing some websudoku, going outdoors (walking a lot, running some, skiing or biking when weather allows), watching a little TV at night (still working through the sweet seasons of Schitt's Creek), the occasional youtube foray to realize all I never have seen (like all the SNL best skits from 2013 or whatever that could be hours of time consumption at some point in the future), jotting down every now and again something to do when I'm not as "busy" (house repairs, digging up the garden, probably something else I forgot to write down and can't remember now:). That seems to pretty much take up the day and that, I've decided, is what I'm going to call a success for now.
I don't mean to be dismissive of the value of ambition and to recommend for all time that we shouldn't have aspirations, but for the moment, I'm happy to not think too far ahead, to accept all that I can't control, to tone down much planning for the future, and to be appreciative at the end of the day for another day of whatever has filled my time.
Enuf for now. Be patient and kind.
It seems trite to note how fast this is all changing and to think we were in school just a week ago and....
Before getting into ruminations on life under social distancing, for educators shaping communication with students, I want to link to the overall remote learning letter to our 9th graders sent out Friday. This felt super clear to me, well organized, and eminently doable for the students (I hope:). We'll see. Not sure if you can get to the embedded links in the document but if you want access to that, email me.
Onto Ambition, or lack thereof:
I realize so many, if not most, of the strategies people use to get through life and its stressors have been suddenly been taken away. Retail therapy, going to the gym, hanging out in bars, social immersion, etc. are pretty much off the table.
I guess people could try to replicate these in their own isolated kind of way and there seems no shortage of stories circulating of folks doing virtual dance parties and cocktail hours and such. Maybe you can still try to "shop til you drop" but not sure what is even out there to buy (my aunt tells me Amazon's platform doesn't tell you what isn't in stock doesn't come up when you're picking items but this only shops up, to your dismay, upon checkout). Jennifer inexplicably had her order for 24 Oxford English Picture Dictionaries (for refugee education) cancelled by Amazon either because there is a sudden hoarding of this important resource (unlikely) or they just don't have the staff to prioritize this less essential item.
So far (and I'm aware that anything I say one day I may totally feel differently about in a day or week or month from now), I am not a fan of trying to replicate "regular world" experiences in this new coronavirus world (I wonder when we'll come up with agreed upon terminology for that prior world and the current one). Like my ex-father-in-law wisely used to say about frozen yogurt, "Never order a flavor you have eaten as real ice cream." His logic, astutely enough, was that something like Mango or Persimmon Frozen Yogurt may be great, but if you order Chocolate or Health Bar Crunch, you'll compare to real ice cream and be sorely disappointed.
So for now, watching tv shows simultaneously or trying to go on group runs remotely is off the table for me.
What I think may be particularly hard for some folk, and something I think is often inherent in American culture, is to tamp down ambition and the continual pressure for self-improvement. There are a bunch of reasons this is ingrained in us, from our county's founders desire to create the proverbial city on a hill to Judeo-Christian precepts about service and creating a better world to our grading system in schools that starts with a high score of 100 and only goes down from there, meaning for almost all us, we can always do better (contrast this with video game scoring where your score only goes up and how much more rewarding this is for many kids). And maybe it is just human nature to want to be busy and to look ahead and to want more and better for our future.
But there is also a fair bit of perspective that encourages a less ambitious nature. Buddhism may offer the most commonly cited philosophy of acceptance, living in the moment, and not continually seeking more. Even in non-Buddhist countries, I've experienced the general happiness of people who have far less than most Americans. We have all heard stories of people with very little who express great satisfaction with their lives while some people in developed, wealthy societies express high levels of dissatisfaction, stress, and unhappiness (I could go look up links here about world surveys on the happiest countries but at least today, I lack the ambition to do all that work that I trust you can google as well as me:).
So yes, everything has changed and our lives are turned upside down and no one knows how to handle today, let alone what will happen tomorrow and beyond. The illusion of control we often feel as Americans is being shattered. I was fortunate to experience this years ago when we traveled around the world for a year during some of the worst of the Bush 2 presidency. As a news junkie and one time Political Science major, I used to be much more mired in the day to day news which raised my concern about how things would play out, as if my news following somehow affected the course of events. Lo and behold, in that whole year away, often with no access the news, George Bush never once seemed to need to consult with me, nor did my following or not following the news seem to change anything he did.
I think the same perspective was often true for folks in countries like Italy or Spain who felt less opportunity for social mobility so chose to live well rather than work particularly hard or for those in low income countries who try to find happiness in lives with few material possessions and don't perseverate about what they don't have or how their lives would be different if only they had more.
In the US, almost since our founding, we've had opportunities for upward mobility through the wonders of the natural resources available, the space to grow and create, and the freedoms of democracy and capitalism. And now, all of a sudden, much of this sense of opportunity is cut off. I guess you could be prepping to start a podcast or create an at-home, on-line business, or to write the great American novel, but maybe this is a good time to just slow down, accept having less to do, try to listen to your body and mind about "what do I want to do now?", and be grateful for getting through another day without feeling too bored or worried or dismayed.
So I haven't yet gotten to making some long range list of "things I can do while under social isolation." Instead, I'm trying to be pretty pleased with my short "to-do" list (admittedly this blog can take a fair bit of time), giving me some things I "need" to do each day (and trying to not get through the list so I have something for tomorrow)(and if any students are reading this and think this means you don't have to do schoolwork, I would put that on your list of the one thing you "need" to do at least on all weekdays).
But mostly I am just doing what I feel like doing at the time and sticking to what I think of the basics of my life--sleeping well, reading in bed in the morning, listening to news, cooking a lot of good, time consuming food (nursing the sourdough starter baby I had going before this drastic change, making eggplant parmesan the real breaded and fried way that takes hours of prep, etc), playing some websudoku, going outdoors (walking a lot, running some, skiing or biking when weather allows), watching a little TV at night (still working through the sweet seasons of Schitt's Creek), the occasional youtube foray to realize all I never have seen (like all the SNL best skits from 2013 or whatever that could be hours of time consumption at some point in the future), jotting down every now and again something to do when I'm not as "busy" (house repairs, digging up the garden, probably something else I forgot to write down and can't remember now:). That seems to pretty much take up the day and that, I've decided, is what I'm going to call a success for now.
I don't mean to be dismissive of the value of ambition and to recommend for all time that we shouldn't have aspirations, but for the moment, I'm happy to not think too far ahead, to accept all that I can't control, to tone down much planning for the future, and to be appreciative at the end of the day for another day of whatever has filled my time.
Enuf for now. Be patient and kind.
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